yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Farmville is her only friend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
