I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
