I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
