He is an equal opportunity slut.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
