1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
