I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
