You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the day after is always just damage control
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
