Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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