I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
