I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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