So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
