i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He passed out mid-signature
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
