I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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