Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
