in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize