Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
