The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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