i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
