gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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