Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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