He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
