I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
