I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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