She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Still dying that you shit outside
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
