3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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