3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
