It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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