and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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