my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the liver wants what the liver wants
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
