I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
