We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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