my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
