hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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