Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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