Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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