Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's