I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
