I hate all girls vehemently.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
