Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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