Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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