I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
