We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
