Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
