Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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