i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
