youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
