i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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