You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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