ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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