my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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