hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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