Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
