do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
