FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
