She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
