So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My ATM looks so different sober.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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