using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize
